Back again shortly

Last days and goodbyes tend to be difficult I know. But in this case of moving home, I've been forced into seeming denial on my final day. In an extraordinary gesture, I've totally bunked off bubble wrap duty and allowed myself to be taken to a traditional steam fair. It all sounds frivolous and in fact borderline reckless, I grant you. But it does make perfect sense given the baking heat and my one-on-one child caring. The packing will have to wait. Probably for the dead hours of tonight and the crack of tomorrow's dawn.

I'm still contemplating the states of Buddhist being though. In between the dodgems and popcorn, the various different inner conditions have been flowing through my body. Rather like eating from a variety selection of family chocolates. I've been opting for the soft-centred tranquility cremes when I can, but I've come across a fair selection of nutty, hard anger and hunger chewy ones too.

It's just been too hot and sticky to aspire to a higher plane. Muggy weather and moving seem to block refined conduct. My innate desire for improvement is still there, much in the way I've harboured a secret wish list for the type of place I'm trying to move too. The local estate agents have been highly skilled in matching me to places bearing only a passing resemblance. So in this respect, I'm holding out for a place that's practical but not the best possible.

Meanwhile, over on the Buddhist ladder, I'm far more sure of moving up the inner world's scale. Given I feel largely past the lower, reactive inner states - see yesterday's post - I'm quietly aiming to sign for the more gracious settings of "Learning" and "Realization". To quote the Big American Boys, "people in these states have won a measure of independence and are no longer prisoner to their own reactions."

These more des res ways of operating require degrees of deliberate effort. They are the only way to really get ahead in Buddhism. They represent half of what is enticingly termed the "four noble worlds" and are truly worth working for. In Buddhist terms, "learning" is when we are actively looking for knowledge, from official swotty sources to those cosy chats over coffeee or a bottle of wine."Realization" kicks in when we start squaring up our new ideas in our own way.

So, back on the home front, I plan to take a week off posting. Not that anyone will miss me apart from my imaginary reader. I'm probably offline until I get settled again. And I may even come back as better on the inside...

Nam myoho renge kyo.